ebernick 
Look at the photo from this week’s life lesson. At first glance, it simply portrays a typical everyday scene from what could be your shower. It is in fact, my shower. Recently I was enjoying a relaxing shower when I reached for my soap on the shelf, and was dismayed to find that it appeared not to be there, although I eventually retrieved it amongst all my wife’s shower amenities (the fact that it was bright green in contrast to all her dominantly white containers probably helped).
I found myself wondering why my wife has to have such a variety of soaps, shampoos and conditioners dominate our shower shelf to the extent that I struggled to find my one little soap container. Surely if I could survive with one soap and share her shampoo, she did not need to clutter our shower shelf with such a big range of paraphernalia just to have a shower.
Listen, I love my wife and am delighted that she prioritizes hygiene and cleanliness. But I kept staring at this scene and pondering why one person is comfortable with “less” and another person seems to need “more” for such a basic need as showering. Then an important lesson dawned on me.
I suddenly realized that my thinking about this scenario was contrary to a fundamental concept which I coach many business teams with, namely that we are all wired differently, and that it is ok to be different. Research by the Gallup Group over more than four decades has revealed that we all have different strengths which make us unique, and that if we understand our strengths and use them all the time we will succeed in maximizing our performance.
Much like the differences between my wife and me as portrayed in the photo above, there are differences in the individual members of a team (this is true of any team, i.e. a sales team, a sports team). Listen, this is in fact a positive aspect, since the combined strengths of the individual members makes for a well-rounded team.
The research on strengths also showed that a weakness cannot be “fixed”, yet many managers send their staff on training courses with the goal of “fixing” their weaknesses, rather than maximizing employee performance by focusing on developing their natural talents to develop into even greater strengths. (Look, when natural talent is complimented with the development of the skills and knowledge to enhance that talent, it develops into a powerful strength, much like a diamond covered in dirt can be enhanced by cleaning and polishing it until its brilliance is manifest). Hence, we can safely say that whereas a person cannot be well rounded (in terms of the full range of natural strengths), a team can be well rounded when the combined individual strengths of the team are aimed at their common goals or objectives. Any gaps in the team can be covered by the specific strengths of one or more of its members.
As team members learn and understand their own unique strengths, as well as that of their fellow team members, they begin to understand that each member has different strengths which land on the team, and those strengths contribute to the overall strength of the team. Look, when you realize that the differences in your team members is a good thing for the team, you become more understanding of these differences, as manifest in the way each one thinks, behaves and speaks.
It is ok to be different. In fact, in the context of a team, it is a great advantage. Listen, even in a small team such as a marriage, an understanding of each ones unique strengths, and ongoing communication around each ones strengths in the relationship, can foster better understanding and tolerance of each other’s differences.
You can assess your strengths using Gallup’s online assessment for a little over R200. You will get an in-depth report outlining your Top 5 strengths, with a detailed explanation of your strengths. As you grow in your understanding of these strengths, you will be energised to use them each day to enhance your performance and achieve your goals with ease and confidence.
When I got out the shower I had a fascinating chat with my wife about our different strengths. By the way, my Top 5 Strengths from the Gallup assessment are MAXIMISER, FUTURISTIC, STRATEGIC, RELATOR and RESPONSIBILITY. My wife’s are CONSISTENCY, HARMONY, EMPATHY, DISCIPLINE and DEVELOPER.
We chatted about why I sometimes find her trying to “suggest what I should do”…..it has to do with her natural talent of DEVELOPER, where she sees the potential in others and encourages them accordingly. We now also understand why she does not enjoy it when we go away on holiday for too long. Her DISCIPLINE talent requires her life to have structure, and when she is away from her routine for too long, she feels “out of place” (It’s ok with me, I do prefer going on shorter holidays more often anyway)
Look, when we discussed my strengths, we laughed about my FUTURISTIC strength where I share my big dreams for the future, but at the same time it does “get in the way” of her DISCIPLINE strength which requires more structure and processes towards achieving goals. At least we understand why we are different, and that it is ok to be different, especially since we can communicate about them, which contributes to a better understanding of each other.
Listen, I now don’t mind my wife’s amenities occupying more than 95% of our shower shelf. It really is ok to be different.
(Eberhard Niklaus is a Business Coach who specializes in coaching sales teams and business teams to maximize performance through communicating and understanding the individual strengths of each team member, and developing a strategy for the team to point their individual strengths towards the common goals and objectives of the team. His business coaching sessions “How to craft a winning team” have helped numerous teams to achieve peak performance)
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