ebernick 
When you first look at this photo you may find yourself thinking that this is an unconventional position for someone to pose for a photo. In fact, the elderly lady is not posing for a photo.
She is positioning herself in the most comfortable way possible to read her tablet with the least amount of pain caused by the degenerated disc’s in her fragile back.
The lady in the photo is my mother. Recently my brother visited her for a few days, came across her in this position, and then took this photo. My mother has suffered from this condition for more than a decade, and the doctors cannot help her with her pain. She cannot stand or sit for more than a few minutes at a time. She lives alone with her pain, but what always astounds us kids is her ability to stay positive. Sure, like any of us, she has her down moments, but considering her challenging physical condition, her positive attitude never ceases to amaze us.
What makes it possible for someone in a seemingly hopeless situation to stay positive? I have often thought about why my mother manages to stay upbeat and happy despite her unenvious position.
The answer, when it came to me, was simple and clear…….
She chooses to focus on what she can be thankful for, instead of focusing on her poor health condition.
Many of us are quick to complain about what goes wrong in our lives, or about other negative stuff we are experiencing:
“Why can’t I have a nicer boss?”
“Why do my neighbours always seem to have money to go on holiday, and I can’t even afford to go away for a long weekend?”
“Why can we not have more money to do things?”
“Why do I have to pay so much tax?”
“Why don’t I ever get a decent break?”
“I wish I did not have so many bills to pay”
“With this heatwave, I wish I could afford a swimming pool”
“My friends always seem to have it better than me”
“Why are my rates and taxes so expensive? It’s not fair!”
Hey, look at what we complain about! Compared to the sufferings of millions of people, our “stuff” is so insignificant by comparison. And even if we have things to complain about, we don’t do ourselves any favours by focusing on the negative stuff in our lives.
Philosopher Jim Rohn once said there are two steps to managing stress:
- Don’t sweat the small stuff
- It’s all small stuff (in the big scheme of things)
I think my mother embraces this concept. In comparison to all the things she can be thankful for, she minimizes her physical condition by staying focused on the relationship she has with her kids and friends, her home where she enjoys relative comfort and privacy, and her strong faith in a better world by God’s Kingdom, where physical ailments will be something of the past.
The “Law of Attraction” goes like this: “Whatever we focus our thoughts and feelings on with sufficient clarity and with enough continuity, we attract into our lives”. In other words, our focused thoughts manifest our reality. And ultimately those thoughts are our own choice. It reminds me of the words of Abraham Lincoln, who said that “people are about as happy as they choose to be”.
What will you choose? If you choose to think about the things that you don’t want in life, you will attract those very self-same negative things. Imagine a golfer teeing up a shot to the green. Surrounding one half of the green is a body of water. What does the golfer think as he tees up? If he tells himself “don’t hit the water, don’t hit the water”, what are his thoughts focused on? The water! And inevitably his ball lands in the water. He should rather focus on “I must land on the green, close to the flag”, as that is what he wants to attract as his reality.
Consider another example: If you set yourself a goal of being punctual, and you have an 11h00 appointment, do not say “I will not be late”. The mind does not register “not”, it registers “late”, and so you attract that reality. Rather say “I will be on time”, and your sub-conscious mind will attract the reality of being on time.
If you want to attract the happiness and positive attitude that my mother manages despite her disadvantaged situation, then choose to focus on the things in your life that you should be thankful for, including the small things in life. An exercise which will help you with this aspect is to write down “50 things that make me happy”. The purpose of this exercise is to help you focus your thoughts on positive things, hence developing a positive focus on life.
Finally, I will leave you with “7 Power Questions” (courtesy of “New Insights”) which you can use daily to help you develop an appreciative and positive mindset:
“What am I happy about today?”
“What am I grateful for today?”
“Who do I love?”
“Who loves me?”
“What can I do to make today fantastic?”
“What can I do today that will make a difference?”
“What can I acknowledge within myself?”
(Eberhard Niklaus is an author, speaker, facilitator, business coach and trainer. His business coaching programme “The art of crafting a winning team” has benefitted numerous teams to maximize performance, productivity and profitability)
“Contact Eberhard TODAY for your FREE 30-minute Zoom CONSULTATION to learn more about how to unlock your potential and accelerate the results you want in your life.”
